Things I Can Control in my Life.

I'm sad maybe depressed today and the last few days, maybe weeks. Today though I have tears.
My daughter is struggling harder with her anxiety and depression which is manifesting itself by staying in bed - doing very little. Having days of binging and eating trash food - basically throwing herself out a window - in a less dangerous sense. But I'm not sure it really is less dangerous.
Anyway, this sends me down the "I'm a bad Mom" track which is not good for me. At All!
And on top of that the politics, the violence, the racism the backlash of that, the arguments, the "taking sides" when all I want is a world where everyone is loved and accepted! That's pushing me down into a deep hole as well.
And everyday, I get kind of obsessive compulsive about making my fitbit goals. A few nights ago, at 11:56, I remembered to check my stairs - I was short 1 - I'd been close to sleep - but I had to jump out of bed and go down downstairs and back up - Yay! I made 10 flights.
In a way I feel that's kind of sick. But I had 3 minutes - plenty of time - I live in a split level house. I would not have gone down the street.
I also don't worry over the calorie burning or the sleep and I DO NOT enter food. I don't care so much about those things - and I have a bit less control over them and I don't like the tediousness of food counting.
And so, I pray for my daughter to find her energy to go introduce herself to the Starbucks' managers. I pray for myself that I find my inner peace. And I pray for the world and government that there will be good answers - positive forces working.